stories ill never write

ironwoman359:

gravywheels:

You know what bugs me about soulmate aus? So, I’m assuming that this whole “the first thing your soulmate says to you blahblahblah” is a worldwide thing. So many of the aus I’ve read have a quote at some point that addresses how tragic it is when people have soul words that say something like “hi” or “‘sup” which makes NO SENSE! In a world where the first thing you say to people is THAT important, WHY GOD WHY would the culture still use standard greetings? Who the fuck is still saying hello at this point? Everyone in these worlds would surely develop a personalized greeting different from everybody else’s to prevent confusion. Like how no 2 racehorses can have the same racing name? The best part is that every time people met someone new for the first time, they would try to say something that no one else had said. You’d have people meeting eachother at a job intetview, they’d shake hands, smile politely, then one of them would be like “Every Tuesday, I hard even grape purple farm house sunsets too” and this would be perfectly normal. Or you’d go up to the cash register at Starbucks and instead of saying “Hello, what can i get for you today?” She’d look you right in the eye and say “I don’t know what Space Jam is” THEN ask you what you want and she’d repeat that to every customer in the line for the rest of her career. And because they live in the AU, nobody would think it was weird.

^^In which AUs get interesting with their world building. I love it.

hyperactive-lectiophile:

LAMP soulmate au were what you draw on your skin appears on your soulmates skin and they just end up with a chaotic group chat on their skin. A special thanks to @notveryglittery @hawthornshadow and @skylagamingv2 for helping me come up with this. Here’s some shenanigans this au could lead to.

Roman draws on his arms when he gets bored, Patton writes motivational messages and quotes, logan puts reminders on his hands, Virgil does running commentary of everything else on his skin.

In this au a soulmate bond can be strengthened and weakened over time. So it starts with just the skin being connected but gradually other stuff happens.

Makeup is touch and go at first but soon any makeup is sent over the bond to the others. Which can cause problems.

Whenever Roman is in a play the others have to walk around in full stage makeup.

Virgil would wear the emo eye shadow and Roman practically begged him to stop.

Roman, sniffling: A Prince has got to slay.

Virgil, cackling: Vengeance.

Then comes nails.

Pink starts to appear on Virgil’s nails and he screams because his edginess is disappearing before his eyes, after discussion they find out that it’s Patton who has the nail polish, and he changes his nails to darker base tones but with overlaying pastel shapes and colors, trying to find a balance they all like.

He does them all in dark purples once and everybody loves them.

Finally Roman dyes his hair. He doesn’t know it’ll affect the others, only some of the strongest bonds extend to hair, but then a few hours after he dyes it the others wake up with suddenly purple hair. Logan disapproves, Patton is excited,Virgil pretends to hate it but later in purple pen, rather than the black he usually sticks to, gives his “I actually dig the purple” line

“It took you all day to say that?”

“Listen, it’s really hard to find a good purple pen!”

Roman then rights “is that so?” In various shades of purple because he has so many freaking markers and is that extra.

Roman draws a massive rainbow of purples for Virgil.

For the next day almost every patch of skin is covered in purple.

Virgil regrets saying anything.

There have also been many heated debates that end in everyone covered head to toe in writing.

One time everyone arguing and Logan gets frustrated because no-one’s listening to him so he starts writing backwards on his face, the others feel something and check mirrors and he’s just writing mirror-style across their foreheads and then down their faces in caps.

He’s angrily writing reflected on his face, that takes effort.

The others are very impressed.

Everyone stops writing in amazement and after a while Logan trails off with a normal “thank you”

One of them makes a smartass comment and Patton writes “Cheeky” on their cheeks.

He also writes “KNUCKLE” across the knuckles of one hand, and on the back of the hand writes “down, and you can achieve anything!”

There are a lot of body part puns.

One of them gets drunk and writes BUTT across their butts in Sharpie. The others are in public and can feel something but can’t discreetly check.

When Patton finally sees the BUTT, he’s just like, “Well, you tried”

One day one of them just draws a mustache on their face.

They learn and create different codes for the others to puzzle through and work out when they’re bored.

Roman tries to come up with a code Logan can’t break.

Keyword: tries

Logan and Virgil use one that he can’t figure out and he finds it infuriating.

Patton does word art a lot.

There’s an unspoken rule to never write over one of Patton’s drawings.

Patton discovers and shares the “9x-7i > 3(3x-7u), solve for i” problem, and of course Logan solves it first but he gets flustered by it and doesn’t respond

(Patton has found the one love language he can’t refute: Maths)

Logan makes a pun at some point IRL and his family is shocked and he’s just like”they’re corrupting me!!!”

Roman draws the logos of each of them over their hearts. Virgil says his heart is on the other side afterwards just to mess with Roman.

Patton talks about his brother Damian a lot and the others ask what he looks like. Patton attempts to draw him but it turns out like a 6 year olds family portrait.

Logan takes an anatomy class and puts references on his body. Patton makes a bunch of puns with the terms, Virgil makes some very dark jokes, roman helps draw stuff out.

Roman makes a countdown to his birthday.

Every year

Logan guesses what it is the first time he does it and Roman is super disappointed at first but the others still appreciate it. A few years later one of them start it before him.

When Roman and Virgil meet in person it takes Virgil less than a minute to realize who he is and it goes down kinda like this.

Virgil: Its you!

Roman: What?

Virgil: No one else talks in such a dramatic and extra way! Seriously I thought you were just writing like that for fun but you talk like it too!!! You really are that extra oh my god!