how do the bois react to patton’s depression? (i imagine roman is a very protective mama bear) how do they afford good therapy? i’m just in the mood for patton angst™️ lol 😘

justisaisfine:

       
                                                                                                       
                                                           Anonymous said:                                    
       
   
         

   
       extra super duper special please sanders bros. Patton Angst™️? 💕💕💕
       
    

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ohhh BOY HERE WE GO

• The very first time he gets a depressive episode is when he comes back home one day from another kid’s house for a school project. He noticed that over there, there was no shouting, no insults, just gentle words and dessert after dinner.
• So home he comes back, directly to Roman’s room- and his brother can instantly tell something’s off with him-
• Patton just climbs into his laps and very softly asks “this isn’t normal right..? Mom and dad, thats not how other parents are, right?”
• and it breaks Roman’s heart the way he asks it, like he knows already but still holds onto a little bit of hope.
• but Roman knows better than to lie to them about this, so he just shakes his head no and holds him closer
• and Pat’s just so quiet for a while and it worries Roman so much but he lets him work through it, offers gentle “Its not your fault buddy”s and “im not going anywhere it’s okay”s

• After they left, when they’ve been living alone for a while now, Pat sees how hard Roman and Logan works to keep them afloat and he feels bad at first because they wouldnt have to struggle so hard if they’d had one less mouth to feed right?

• so he eats less- tries to offer part of his food to Virgil

• Its Logan who notices and talks him out of that mindset.

• but they’re still struggling and still work so hard and are constantly tired

• So little Pat decides to help any way he can

• he takes on taking care of Virgil a lot more, learns how to cook with the neighbors little by little.

• he keeps the sad for himself now, puts on a happy smiling face for his brother so they dont have to worry about him at least.

• and it works for a while- he forces himself to see the good in every situation, in everyone around them-

• and thats good, it actually works for him and the sadness becomes less of a burden

• except when its not

• and theres still nights where Roman will find him alone in the bathroom crying to himself and he doesnt quite understands it- they’re doing okay, virgil is doing a lot better, logan talks more and more to thema nd roman actually can take a couple of days off once in a while- so why is he still so damn sad??

• and it scares him a bit

• but Roman is there and his hugs are still good and grounding and thats all they can do for now so he’ll take it

• But then they get out of that place- Roman finally breaks into the big scene and all is swell now!

• And he loves this, he loves seeing the sets and the other actors, the premieres(the dresses!!) and he loves seeing his brother so so happy and doing something he loves

• and then they’re changing school and Pat wants to learn so many things and things are great!

• except when they’re not, of course

• except when he can feel it in the back of his mind- a sluggish haze, like swimming in honey, and he knows what it is now but its still so scary

• but he catches it at the early stage and brings it up one night at dinner and Logan brings up the therapist idea

• and of course he agrees because he wants this to end so badly

• After a couple of years he knows now that its not something that you cure just by snapping your fingers and wishing real hard

• but he works towards it and he feels better, he’s learnt to deal with it

• he still has Bad Days, of course, but now Virgil joins him on the couch and they put on disney movies and eat pizza and they let it happen and stay gentle and forgiving with it.

• He accepts the bad days now, knows to be kind to himself on those days and to take it easy, instead of being scared and guilting himself for having them.

• The good days outweigh the bad and his smiles arent forced on the good days and he doesnt force himself to smile on the bad ones

• he knows healing isnt linear and his brothers are there for the good and bad times and thats good enough for him.

He’s been denied love and affection from their parents but that didnt make him any less of a loving affectionate person and if he can put a smile on at least one person per day then that’s a good enough reason to keep trying to get better.
he is not his depression.